


Caramel Apple Peeps

by allwaswell16



Series: OT 4/5 Very Silly Chat/Email Chain Drabbles [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Chatting & Messaging, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Grocery Store, Humor, I didn't know how to rate this, M/M, Silly, a birthday gift for awriterwrites, but there is some sort of dirty talk in it??, ot5 group chat with ed, whatsapp chat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 16:59:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9081454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allwaswell16/pseuds/allwaswell16
Summary: Louis is out of milk for his early morning cuppa tea. He sets out to the store to pick some up, but he gets distracted by Niall's love for caramel apples in the group chat.Or another 1D whatsapp chat drabble.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Awriterwrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awriterwrites/gifts).



> Notes from original tumblr post: Happy Birthday, Lisa/ Smut Mother/ @a-writerwrites ! I hope you enjoy this silly fic based on, of course, The Squadron GC.

 

Louis shuffles into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his bleary eyes. He puts the kettle on before he realizes his problem. No milk. Fuck. He thinks about just tweeting about it and hoping for someone to bring him some again, but this isn’t London. The general public doesn’t actually know the location of their house in L.A. And even if they did, they’d never make it past all the security gates. He sighs and walks back to the bedroom on the off chance Harry is awake and willing to go buy him milk in exchange for sexual favours. He quietly opens the door and peers in at Harry, still sleeping. Harry makes a snuffling noise and turns over, his mouth hanging open a bit as he continues to snore. Damn Harry’s late night work parties. Harry looks too peaceful even for an early morning cheeky finger. Sad that. Louis stomps back downstairs and grabs some sunnies and a hat. Hopefully, that will suffice as a method of disguising his tired, late night songwriting eyes and unkempt hair. He knows if he gets caught like this, there’ll be a whole tadoo about how “soft” he looks, and then he’ll get shit from Niall, and Harry will send everyone every link to every tumblr post that compares him to some kitten or puppy or posts about how he’s the fluffy king of softness or whatever. He sighs again as he reaches for his keys and sets out on his quest.

He walks through the grocery store’s automatic doors and glares in the direction of the produce off to the right as he enters. Last time he was here he’d pricked his finger on some cactus pears and been utterly disgusted by a giant jackfruit. Fuck produce anyway. He’s just here for some milk for his tea.

His phone buzzes. It’s the group chat.

///

 **Niall** : ITS ALMOST BONFIREEEE NIGHTTTTTT! im gonna eat so many caramel apples SO MANY

 **Liam** : haven’t you eaten enough of those already? Why does it matter if you eat one on Bonfire Night?

 **Niall** : CUZ ON BONFIRE NIGHT I’M GONNA SEE HOW MANY I CAN EAT AT ONCE

///

Louis chuckles as he heads down a seasonal aisle heading towards the back of the store and the dairy cases. He thinks about how Niall hasn’t shut up about all the caramel apples he’s been eating for days, maybe weeks, when a package catches his eye.

///

 **Louis** : Neil !! Did u know they sell caramel apple marshmallow peeps?

 **Liam** : Oh god, don’t tell him about those. He’s gonna turn into a caramel apple

 **Harry** : They’re his inspiration. He needs them.

 **Liam** : But doesn’t that sound GROSS

 **Louis** : yes but this is niall we’re talking about here. Harry why are u up love? Thought you should have a lie in.

 **Niall** : ?????? were you two up late making sweet sweet love ?????????

 **Liam** : god niall why do you even want to know

 **Louis** : no unfortunately harry had a work thing. But if i’d known he was going to wake up as soon as i left the house i would have given him a blowie in exchange for him coming to buy me some milk

 **Liam** : TMI LOU. also i dont like anything marshmallow related so those peeps sound disgusting

 **Harry** : I don’t like Peeps. I like homemade marshmallows.

 **Zayn** : of course you do

 **Ed** : Harry! I didn’t even know homemade marshmallows were a thing until a few years ago when a friend made me some for Christmas!

 **Harry** : I don’t know how people even eat the store bought ones.

 **Niall** :  OMG CARAMEL APPLE PEEEEPPPSSSSSSSSS. I NEEEEED THEM

 **Harry** : I tried to talk Gemma into making some homemade ones for a gift she was putting together. I wanted her to shape them into a shape of some kind. I can’t remember what.

 **Louis** : Dicks?

 **Zayn** : ha

 **Harry** : I was thinking candy canes or snowmen at the time, but willies would have been interesting, I suppose.

 **Ed** : There’s a bakery here that makes amazing hot chocolate. They basically melt down chocolate bars to make it. And they sell homemade marshmallows to go with it.

 **Liam** : where is here ed? Where are u?

<Ed has left the chat>

 **Louis** : way to go loam

 **Liam** : it’s not my fault! why won’t he tell us where he is????

 **Niall** : I put peeps in the microwave until they explode!!

 **Zayn** : why would you do this niall?

 **Louis** : you don’t understand, you don’t understand

 **Niall** : cuz i like seeing them turn into giant peeps. I try to open the door before they actually explode but sometimes my judgement of when that’s gonna happen isn’t the best. They go quick

 **Louis** : oh my god neil, you are the best human

 **Harry** : I want a willy marshmallow.

 **Liam** : i wouldn’t even eat a penis shaped marshmallow. That is how much i don’t like marshmallows.

 **Niall** : can you imagine how fun those would be to blow up!! Art mimics life.

 **Louis** : So peeps are growers, not showers

 **Zayn** : heh

 **Harry** : I thought you were saying that was how much you don’t like penises, Liam.

 **Liam** : why does everything turn into hard ons with you people

 **Louis** :  it’s cocktober duh

 **Liam** : right. Cocktober.sorry  I forgot

 **Louis** : And YOU get a hard on and YOU get a hard on and YOU get a hard on I want to be the Oprah of dicks

 **Niall** : Listen peeps deserve to have one moment in their miserable peep life where they fly above their station so i let them have their moment

 **Louis** : that’s beautiful neil

///

Louis pockets his cell and chuckles as he grabs the package of caramel apple Peeps for Niall and heads to the cashier. He pays for the Peeps and walks out into the bright Malibu sunshine. He squints as he plops his sunglasses back atop his nose, and that’s when he realizes he’s been caught. He can tell immediately by the gasp and the “oh my god” he overhears. He turns and sees a woman with two young children staring at him, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. He smiles.

“Louis Tomlinson!” she exclaims. She seems to be frozen in place.

“Hello,” he says.

“I–you–your music–it’s everything–HOME IS THE GREATEST SONG EVER WRITTEN!” She blurts out and then claps her hand over her mouth.

“Thank you, love,” Louis says as the older child hands his mom the phone he must have been playing with. “Would you like a picture then?”

“Yes, please,” says the boy.

Louis bends down and snaps a selfie of he and the boy as his mom tears up a bit, still wrangling her younger child.  He waves her over and takes another of them all together before handing back her phone.

“Thank you so much!” she exclaims. “You can’t know how much your music has meant to me. How much joy you’ve brought to my life. And my kids love you, too! Thank you!”

Louis blushes a bit at the praise.

“I just sent it to all my friends!” the boy claims.

“Oh no,” the mom says. “Oh god. I’m so sorry. You should probably go before it’s all over Twitter.”

“Yeah, I probably should. It was nice to meet you all.”

“No, no. It was our pleasure!” She insists. “Enjoy your–” She looks down at what’s in his hands. “–Peeps.”

Fuck. He’s forgotten the milk.

His phone buzzes.

///

 **Harry** : Love, your delicate, soft kitten face is all over Twitter right now. Are you on your way home?

 **Louis** : I forgot the fucking milk! I bought neils dumb peeps and forgot the milk

 **Niall** : YASSSSSS LOU YOURE THE FUCKING BEST MATE

 **Zayn** : There’s already a new edit with your face as the sun. And there’s another with you floating in some clouds.

 **Louis** : fuck you guys

 **Harry** : Oh, I will be happy to fuck you as soon as you get home. Can’t wait to peel those joggers off of you. Are you wearing any pants? I hope not. Easier access to your Cocktober surprise.

 **Louis** : maybe I don’t need milk for my tea anyway

 **Liam** : fucks sake TOO MUCH INFORMATION

 **Niall** : PEEEEEEEPPPPSSSSSSSS

 

*

**Tumblr post:[Caramel Apple Peeps](http://allwaswell16.tumblr.com/post/153038898281/a-birthday-drabble-for-lisa)**

**Author's Note:**

> Love you, Lisa! xx


End file.
